exchange

today (or shld i say yest) jo left for milan for exchange..

it will be another 6 months before i get to see her.. hopefully it will be less for i really want to go to milan to visit her (and of course go shopping there!) before she comes back..

anyway as i was sending her off.. the whole time at the airport.. i was just thinking how nice it would be if 4 or 5 months down the road.. i can be in the same position as her - lugging my fridge of a luggage at the airport and frantically trying to reduce the mightily overweight luggage in the middle of the check-in area after being rejected by the counterstaff for having an overweight luggage in the overweight category (yes that's possible apparently!). and at the same time.. have your parents AND godma bug you constantly about how it is going to be impossible to move the luggage by yourself once u're in italy (or wherever i want to go for exchange) and also having to entertain all the various groups of friends who have come to send you off..

yes.. i really wouldn't mind all that "mahfan-ness" if i can actually spend the next year in a nice foreign country.. unfortunately.. it is not going to happen for i have been brutally (yes the email was brutal) rejected for the programme.. while i've accepted the fact.. it really does not take away the disappointment i feel now for i have been looking forward to it since 3 years ago when my godbro went for his exchange.. and as much as i kept telling myself during the past few months not to be too hopeful.. i WAS very hopeful deep down inside.. sigh..

it's not so much about not being able to go overseas to study.. it's about how i've lost my only chance of freedom/travelling alone before i get married (that's assuming i do get married).. while this may sound ridiculous and most of you guys have probably heard me joke/complain about it.. no one really understands what it feels like to have your parents breathing down your neck all the time.. not allowing you to go for holidays with your friends.. not allowing late nights.. not allowing stayovers.. and when i'm on holiday with them.. their paranoia and obsession with safety can just drive you nuts.. and your movements will always be restricted for they always think you will be siao if you suggest doing something different.. and i was really really looking forward to getting away from Singapore for a year to just take a breather from sch and stuff..

but i guess it's not to be.. i'll just have to be resigned to my fate.. afterall.. after 20 years of living with my parents and going on holidays with them.. what's another 10 years or so of the same treatment till i get married?

this is not an entry that's seeking your sympathy or whatsoever.. in fact.. i don't want your sympathy cos it will only make me feel worse.. and pls don't be afraid to talk about exchange in front of me cos even though i can't go.. i will be excited for you and be very interested in what you plan to do over there..

yep that's abt it..

i really ought to go slp now..

jo if you are reading this.. it means that you've reached italy safe and sound and have managed to move your "fridge" around.. :P hope you have a great time there! better update me on your life in milan hor!