sian

i hate to admit it..

but..

i'm starting to feel lethargic.. there's just so many things i wanna do during the holidays.. but i dun have energy (and $) to do it.. and it's barely even a month after the last paper!!!

don't understand why i feel so sian.. maybe it's cos i sleep too much.. that's why i feel so lethargic.. but i can't help it.. i sleep really late every night becos i just can't sleep before 1am now..

grrr..

shopping no longer has that effect on me anymore.. mainly cos i've seen everything there is to be sold in singapore and nothing interests me anymore.. AND.. i dun have $ even if they do.. :( the starhub job that i got will only start next month and i'm not exactly really looking forward to it..

somehow.. i feel that the hols would be much more exciting if i had the freedom to do what i want..

i see my friends one by one going off for holidays with their own group friends and i'm unable to share their joy cos my parents don't allow me to go anywhere without them..
i saw jasmin going for her diving trip last week and then bringing back all the photos of the gorgeous beaches and clear blue sea and i feel so envious cos my parents think diving is extremely dangerous and they wouldn't even allow me to bring up the subject of diving..
i see gillian going for her backpacking trip to europe soon and how her mother allows her to do so becos she doesn't want gillian to regret not being able to travel as and when she would like to when she goes enteres the workforce..

u think my mum will worry that i have that sort of regrets??

NAH..

and i know that i'm precisely gona have these regrets because i have such protective parents.. i know they are protective cos they are concerned but isn't that abit overboard? sigh.. for those who still don't know.. i can't even stay over at a friend's place la.. it's ridiculous how i even feel envious of denise and weixuan because their parents allow them to go hongkong with me and my mum.. :(

everytime someone brings up the topic of organizing a trip to KL or bangkok.. i know that i wouldn't be part of it cos of my parents and it's just sad..

i can't go clubbing without worrying that my parents will kill me when i get home late.. i can't even go for supper without worrying that i will get into deep shit just because i stay out and then feel bad cos my frens will leave too when i have to leave early..

it's not just that my parents are protective.. they feel that it's "not right" for a girl to stay out so late at night and i suspect that's the reason why they wouldn't let me stay over too.. and when i ask them why it's "not right" i get no answer.. :|
i think the first overseas trip that i will make alone without my parents will prob be my honeymoon.. but that's IF i manage to find a husband and IF my mum won't wanna tag along.. BLEAH..

anyways.. i'm not depressed or anything.. (well i'm prob bordering on depression from the lack of freedom) i jus felt like letting everything out..

btw.. yest's bbq was great.. the fire was strong and the food was DELICIOOOOUUUUSSSSS!! :D not even the rain could dampen our fun.. :)

yeap.. anyways.. it's time to sleep now.. nite everyone!! it's mambo tmr night!! YIPPPEEE!!